Okay, before I post this first chapter from my book “Growing Old in a Young World” I need to give you some background information.
I have a really good friend, Sarah, who turned 20 a few months ago. I was teasing her about her “old age” a few weeks before her birthday and I told her I would buy her the “old age survival kit”. As our conversation progressed, I decided I was too cheap to buy her all the things she would need, so I told her I would buy her a book entitled “Growing Old in a Young World”, unfortunatly, no such book existed… until now! You see, this book was written by me for Sarah and given to her on her birthday. (Yes, we are still good friends, and don’t worry, she got back at me!) (And another yes, my grandparents have read the whole thing and love it)
So because so many people have now read my book and thouroughly enjoyed it, I will make it available for the rest of my frinds to read! So here goes! Enjoy! (originally written in large print)
A friendly guide to get you on your way.
Someone the author knows very well
Chapters
1. Items to have on hand
2. Relating the young people
3. Rights you have in old age
4. You know your really getting old when…
5. Closing thoughts
First, gather a container of some sort in which to compile the items you do not need to have out every day. Then start gathering or purchasing these items:
- A pair of spectacles with bifocals
- A hearing aid (make sure you also have plenty of batteries, if you run out at any time, you will not be able to hear what others say about you.)
- A walking cane or stick
- A good pair of false teeth (If you are too cheap to buy a new pair, I find that garage sales are excellent places to find a good pair at a low cost. Just be sure to soak in bleach for a week or two.)
- SeaBond™ (To hold your false teeth securely in place)
- Start buying large print books and/or a Bible (and you thought the large print in this book was just a mistake!!)
- You may want to consider getting one of those handy necklaces you can use to call for help in case you fall down. Which brings me to my next point,
- Boniva™ To help build strong bones in case of falls
- Plenty of vitamins and minerals
- Plenty of 3×5 index cards. (In case you start forgetting what you went to the top of the stairs for, write everything on these cards!)
- A box or two of Depends™
- A box of Kleenex™ (For when you need to cry about your lost independence.)
- The number for the church youth group (For when your lawn needs mowed, etc.)
- A magnifying glass (For when drop your car keys and cannot see them on the floor)
- A respirator
- A hair coloring kit (to get rid of stubborn gray hairs)
- The Jitterbug Cell phone (you don’t need any do-dads or the bells and whistles anymore)
- A rocking chair
There are many more items you can add to this list, please add to it as you feel the need. Now, we will close this chapter with a scripture.
Joshua 13:½ “Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said to him, “You are old and stricken in years…”
*Claims have not been investigated, but research shows most people, even those having a survival kit, do not survive old age.
