Well, here is part two!
Relating to the Young People
As you know, dear reader, relating to young people grows increasingly more difficult as you grow older. This is only a major problem if you happen to be a youth pastor. (Background information: Sarah is a youth pastor) Here are some pointers to help get you on your way to relating to young people:
- Research what they are into
- Listen to the music they like (If you have hearing aids, you are allowed to listen to the music at deafening levels so as to be able to actually hear it)
- Learn their language yo
- Do not be upset when they come to help you around the house, or mow your lawn (They are only trying to show you, the crotchety old person, the love of God in a practical way.)
- Don’t seclude yourself from them, they have a lot to teach you, (well, okay, maybe not) and vise versa
- A big way to earn bonus points with young people is to bake goodies.
Watch them carefully to find new ways of relating to them, you may develop meaningful relationships with a young person as you go old and gray.
And to close with another Scripture,
Job 9:25 “Now my days are swifter than a post: they flee away…”
Rights you Have in Old Age
It is always important to know what legal rights you have. Some rights vary by age and location, however, the rights given to old people are universal.
- The right to drive 15mph on any given road, and 10mph on the highway. If you are Sunday joy-riding, you may drive 8mph on any back road.
- The right to wear really, really old fashioned clothes.
- The right to cut your hair short and perm it.
- The right to soak yourself in perfume, this has often been beneficial when an old person gets lost as family members are able to sniff them out in a crowd.
- The right to pay for your groceries with change and super-duper stamps. (Background information: the Super Duper is a store we have here.)
- The right to make everyone impatient when you hold up a line.
- The right to not stand up in church when the pastor asks if “all would rise”
- The right to fall asleep in church. We understand you were “burning the midnight oil” last night at 8:30pm
- The right to get grumpy
- The right to sit all day watching the Food Network.
And we close with yet another Scripture:
Job 30:½ But now they that are younger than I have me in derision…”
You Know Your Getting Old When…
- Driving 35mph is considered speeding in most circles.
- You have the best car money can buy. (Yes, the myth is true, old people always have the best cars)
- You need a magnifying glass to clip your toenails.
- You go to bed at 7:00 p.m. and stay there until 9:00 a.m.
- You only watch the food network.
- You start a guest list for your funeral.
- People start asking if you can will your money to them.
- You personally know your great-great-great-great grandchildren.
- You get short of breath opening the telephone directory.
- You become exhausted when you wrestle with your conscience.
- When you sink your teeth into that steak and they stay there.
- Your back buckles more than your belt.
- When your back goes out more than you do… you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are… OLD!!!
Lamentations 3:4 “My flesh and my skin has he made old, he has broken my bones.” See there, you better start taking Boniva.
Closing Thoughts
Dear reader, the time has come to close this little book of ours. We hope to have provided you with some insight and/or calm or fears of old age. Do not worry, you will not be in old age very long… you will either die in old age or enter really old age. (30 years old)
I hope you enjoyed this! 
